Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My dick has a subreddit
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
