You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
