Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
