If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
