Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
