My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
