Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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