Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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