I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
