I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize