but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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