She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
