Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
