so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
His nipple licking is glorious
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