I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
