Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
