Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
