What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
