dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
