My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
