I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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