just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
