So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
