you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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