he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
