its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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