C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
