No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
