Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
