Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
