"it" just moved
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
