i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
