Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
