Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
