So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
