Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
