Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
