I love black thongs
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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