I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
