I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize