yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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