I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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