Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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