dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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