Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
