ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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