Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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