He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
