I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
