I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
