Me. At least after what I've been through.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
