I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize