thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
