so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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