I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
