I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
