Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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