Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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