margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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