Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
