and my herpes radar will keep us safe
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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