Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
