Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Come on in and take your pants off
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