Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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