I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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