dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
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